When I went 40 it was a very bad year for me. Turning 30 wasn't any problem at all, but 40 hit me like a ton of bricks. I was very depressed and the life I had sort of didn't fit me anymore. I was involved in Church but it wasn't doing anything for me at all. It took up too much of my time and I was very sleepy from all the medication I was taking, and I was just very tired of things.
My life sucked and I couldn't put my finger on why it took me so long to realise it. I didn't know what to do about it. I was ready for change in my life and din't know where I would find it or even what sort of change it would be. It probably didn't help that my daughter was 14 and in Jr High and it brought back memories of when I was that age and how moonstruck I was then, always in some fantasy world. This is the way I managed my real life when it got unbearable. I'd just sit and think of other, more pleasant lives.
Today that avenue of escapism isn't there for me anymore. Maybe because I've lost all hope for a better and more exciting life, maybe because I am 50, extremely obese and a grandmother. Way too grounded for moonlight dreams....
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment