sea crests on wall, bermuda

dancin' in the moonlight

my fishes

Hi Lorrie, Just thought you'd like a picture of Max. It was taken Christmas. Was so nice seeing you today after all this time!!!!

Remember When??????
Max went looking for you behind the door this am. It is closed now to save heat. It looks the same, I put your Thank you card on the little table. Gent took the black plastic drawers out so Max would have a little table to rest his food on. The other one went out with that wooden light, hehehe..........love Linda xoxoxoxo

Ya think?????? Happy New Year and all that shit.........FEAR THIS

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Joe, where ever you are, whatever has become of you, this is dedicated to you
http://duirwaighgallery.com/inspiration_aknock.htm

My Dear LindaGlad you sent mail was writing earlier must be mood was in went back to sleep so manyplans to do today still in my night clothes have had breakfast sun is streaming in the windows all the windows open am coughing again will be seeing doctor soonAloma called she will make some soup has a long day see her tomorrow after churchYour hair does look nice Amanda does a good cut called Cheryl do not understand thought she had a share in house was told has nothing does have a job in her nursing in nursing homein your old schools in the barracks cheryl has been with dr andagoda for four weeks not to worry she is getting care thanks for letting me know about max just tell me what should do to get along with him i will remember trucks and fire engines bruce and chris was very active kepty forty year old legs moving have just spoken to darlenelots to due try and take it slowly Catch up with you later love to all bye >From: Linda Waldroup >To: "bdaonion1923@hotmail.com" >Subject: my hair>Date: Sat, 10 Nov 2007 07:42:01 -0500>> Those who do not study history are doomed to repeat it>Thursday, November 08, 2007>>>> Good Morning Momma>Just thought I'd show you a picture of my hair. Look how rusty it was in >the summer. I coloured it a couple of weeks ago and it is dried in a pony >tail, no hot dryer, and there is some hair creme on it to give it a shine. >I will have a chance to do your hair and maybe this creme will put shine in >yours too. Plus the dry cold air also helps! They have a lot more to work >with now than they did years back.>>Gene has Max now, I have to be to work for 9 and Amanda and Mike are >working. I don't know how Gene copes. He won't bother me if Gene is around, >but that also means Gene doesn't get a break unless he is able to go and >drive around by himself and leave him with me. I don't think you could >handle him alone. He is all over the place and might sit still to watch a >cartoon if it is one he likes but otherwise he moves all the time. He is >very bright and remembers everything, knows his letters, colours and >numbers but he loses patience quick and his concentration isn't good. I >bought a package of big dominoes with coloured spots, hoping to learn him >how to play, but the concentration isn't there. You won't be able to play >any little games with him that would occupy him. I am just telling you this >because I don't want you to think he doesn't love you if he acts unlovable. >We are used to it but it may upset you so don't worry it's just the way he >is.>>When he is lovable he is very lovable and you can hug him and hold him up. >When he wears himself out he drops off to sleep, no problem. I know he >upset you when you were up here last, I don't want him to upset you this >time. I just take him as he comes. He loves busses and trucks and fire >engines like all boys. Well I won't stop, I need to get ready for >work..........love Linda>

The Songs Of my Life......1969

This was my second year in high school, and I was 14. I wasn't a very outgoing person. I did a lot of reading, studied and did my homework, and listened to the radio. I am not sure, but I think it was this year that they added FM to the radio stations. All music and no announcer and other stupid shit. I had a diary like most other girls my age.And I was still a very dreamy, far away person especially when I thought about "my crush." Anyway, the songs. While I liked almost everything they had on the charts, these are the songs that I considered "my songs of 1969"

AQUARIUS.....5th Dimension
This was a popular song in school that we all knew. When I have nothing else to do, I "play" music in my mind. I did a lot of this in the school bus because my ride was almost an hour long. Needless to say, I day-dreamed a lot as well. This is one of my "in my head" songs

SUGAR SUGAR.........The Archies
This is a fun, fun song. I had a ton of comic books and one of my favourites was "Archie" so it was cute to hear them on Saturday cartoons playing this song.

LOVE THEME FROM ROMEO AND JULIET.........Harry Mancini and his orchestra
This is the one made in 1968 with Leonard Whiting and Olivia Hussey. We had to go and see this as a field trip because we were doing "Romeo and Juliet" in English Lit.
I visualized myself as Juliet for a long time. It was nice to be beautiful, even if it was in my imagination.

SWEET CAROLINE.......Neil Diamond
Another catchy song "in my head" for my long bus ride.

GOOD MORNING STARSHINE.....Oliver
I just LOVED this song. The name itself was sparkly and magical and it was another song to add to my "day-dreamy" list.

GALVESTON....... Glen Campbell
I loved Glen Campbell (he was so good-looking!) and all his songs. This was "unrequited love" something I was very used to. This song still touches me today and I like to sing to it if I hear it on the radio.

THIS GIRL'S IN LOVE WITH YOU......Dionne Warwick
Are you seeing a common thread here. I was down with all the drippy love songs and I had plenty of school girl imagining with them. I was very sheltered and had never been out with any boys. Not like the girls today who know more than I ever know by the time they are 12 or 13.....

THIS GIRL IS A WOMAN NOW.........Gary Puckett and the Union Gap
Remember this group from 1968. If only "my crush" would notice me, I could sing this with some conviction *at least that's the way I thought then as I gazed out my window at the full moon*

HOOKED ON A FEELING.........BJ Thomas
Another schoolgirl song that played in my head as I rode the school bus

WEDDING BELL BLUES......5th Dimension
All the girls in my group sang this with some longing because all of us wanted to get the big engagement diamond and have a great big wedding with tons of attendants and take vows with our crush-of-the-moment. Funny how I can still put myself in the moment of those days when I remember these songs.

PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN YOUR HEART......Jackie DeShannon
This is a 60's "love can conquer the planet" songs. Also, the one time I was actually in W's (as I will call my 4 year crush now) house this song was playing. It was the Youth Group again, and we were invited there by his mother for supper. Now you have yo understand. I passed this house every day in my bus. It was perched high on a hill and I always looked, just to see if I could see W outside, or even any one of his family. I can't remember much about that afternoon except that I was thrilled to see what W saw everyday in his house, and touch things that he had touched. I had it REALLY BAD I can tell you! I remember peeling the skins off boiled potatoes with everybody else, to be made into potato salad. Somebody should have given me a good shaking in those days. I must have made a real pest of myself.

Well this is enough for now. As I said, there were many good songs that year, but these are the ones that really stuck with me.

The Songs of my life

I have always wanted to make a list of the songs that have made a difference in my life, one way or the other, and things that happened that I associate with these songs. I will start with high school, when I was 13, 1968.
Looking back on the pop charts, I knew, sang or heard of all the songs at one time or the other. The songs that stayed with me the most were the love-type, kind of innocent songs, or the songs we sang in school, among the girls, that kind of thing. I was a very shy person with little esteem, made worse by a very bad case of chicken pox that left marks all over my face. To make it worse, acne also set in and I was plagued with this all thru high school. There was a boy I had the greatest crush on for four years but he hardly paid any attention to me at all. I kinda stalked the poor thing. I watched him where ever he went and wanted to be wherever he was. To show you how bad I had it, I got hold of one of his note-books and a comb of his in my second year. I am embarrassed to say, I slept with this comb and sniffed it, just to smell the stuff he used on his hair. Maybe if he had ever paid attention to me, I might have gone away, who knows. So I stayed in a rosy cloud of "never-never land" and the songs I loved suited how I felt.

Songs I had to know that were popular in school at this time:

SITTIN' ON THE DOCK OF THE BAY.......Otis Redding
HARPER VALLEY PTA.........Jeannie C. Riley
PIECE OF MY HEART.......Big Brother and the Holding Company
I SAY A LITTLE PRAYER.......Aretha Franklin
I WISH IT WOULD RAIN.......Temptations
HEY JUDE......Beatles
DO YOU KNOW THE WAY TO SAN JOSE........Dionne Warwick
LA-LA MEANS I LOVE YOU.......Delfonics

Songs I loved for myself:

LITTLE GREEN APPLES.......O.C. Smith ( I used to sing this with my cousins)
YOUNG GIRL........Gary Pucket and the Union Gap (Anything by this group made me
realise just how young I was in the
Great Scheme Of Things)

SPOOKY........Classics 4 (I didn't have much in the way of 45's, this was my very
first one. The "a" side was what I bought it for. Spooky
was the B side. I grew to like this song anyway)

DELIAH.......Tom Jones (This is kinda personal. The kid I had a crush on belonged
to a church where I had gone to Sunday School for a long
time. He and his family moved to this church from one
further away. So I joined Youth Group just to be near him.
One night, his father was driving us home from a church
meeting some way away. Many of us were crushed in the back
seat of the car, sitting in each others laps. Someone
grabbed my left boob and I didn't know who it was but I
was convinced it was this kid. Guess what was playing on
the car radio. DELIAH.

ANGEL OF THE MORNING.........Merrilee Rush (just another crush song)

GOIN' OUT OF MY HEAD/ CAN'T KEEP MY EYES OFF OF YOU........The Lettermen
(self-explanatory!!!!!)

From a Dear Friend

I received a beautiful message in my pm mail just now. I was only able to copy one letter, but this lovely person used this beautiful letter to send me a message, based on my name. She signed it was another just as beautiful letter, the first letter of her name. Beautiful things make beautiful thoughts. Thank you, Dear Friend~

A Safe Place

Imagine a staircase with ten (10) steps or a path that will lead you to your Special Place. Begin to count from 10 down to 1 or visa versa and either on 10 or 1 you will move into that special/safe place in your mind. Spend a few minutes there feeling, smelling, seeing, and hearing ...familiarize yourself with this Special/Safe Place. Ex: If, for instance, you chose the beach...HEAR the waves, SMELL and TASTE the salty sea mist, FEEL the warmth of the sand between your toes, just be completely at this beach..or mountains...or meadow...where ever you choose is right for you....

(I didn't write the above, for the record)

Dwayne this introduction is just to explain what a safe place is. My T has done this self-hypnosis with me twice. If you have ever been hypnotised in the past, you will be familiar with this stuff. I went to a person about 10 years ago who said they could help me lose weight under hypnosis (yes I know!!!) so I was familiar with "going down the steps.".

Find a quiet place in your home, no distractions. Settle yourself and make sure your feet are on the floor, close your eyes and begin to relax. Feel your feet on the floor. Feel the shoes on your feet, and the socks against your skin....going up, feel your legs against the couch (or chair).Feel your slacks against your skin. Feel your back against the back of the couch or chair. Feel your shirt on your skin. Relax, and breath in and out. Count to four as you breathe in, and exhale as you count, 4,3,2,1. Feel your body get heavier and heavier as you slowly breathe in, count, and out, count. Feel yourself relax, your head, your neck, all the rest of you, getting heavier and heavier. When you are ready, imagine a staircase with seven steps.
This staircase can look anyway you want. As you stand on the first step, look around and see where you are, how you feel. When you are ready, go to the second step. Continue this way, until you get to the last step, where you will see a door. When you are ready, open the door and step thru.

You will be led to your "safe place." Take note of where you are, and where you are going. Are you on a path, road or some such. Note your surroundings, any smells, as you travel on. When you are ready, you will come to your safe place, whatever and where ever it is, where you will feel safe from any harm and you can find utter peace and tranquility for yourself only. Can you describe where you are, how you feel and what is there in your safe place. Feel at peace. Stay here as long as you want to to feel better, to feel safe and secure.

When you are ready to leave, to say goodbye to your safe place for now, remember you can always access your safe place. It is here for whenever you want to visit to stay safe and secure. Return by the way you came and when you are ready, see the staircase in front of you, and when you are ready, See yourself on the first step, and start going up. As you go up, feel yourself becoming more and more aware of returning to the couch or chair, up and up. On the first step, you will be right where you started, ready, aware of where you are. You will notice how calm, and refreshed you feel. Know that anytime your safe place awaits your return, whenever you feel the need to visit.

Dee, I did the best I could to remember how my T described how to do this. If you have experienced hypnosis before, you may have your own way of putting yourself in this state. Going down the steps works for me. Don't forget to go back up the steps, or back which ever way you took to get to the safe place, ie to leave the hypnotic state. My T said with practise I could get to my safe place quickly without going thru all the above, a "short cut" as it were.

Just to the record, after I got relaxed, my staircase was a blue shade, with a gathering darkness as I descended. When I opened the door, the place flooded with daylight. I found myself on a yellowish path, with pine trees on either side and I could smell the pines. The path took me to a little cottage in the woods. When I opened the door, it was a very cosy brown room, with a lit small fireplace. There was a bookcase on one wall and I wasn't aware of any corners. Towards the back of this room was very dark but nor a scary dark. When I closed the door I felt very happy and secure. There was a fat couch of some comfortable colour, and I remember a red square pillow, but not a bright colour. None of this was well lit, just a cosy darkness. The second time my T took me down the steps, I was able to see a table with one chair under one small window, set high in the wall. It was night time and there was one star in the night sky. I looked around and noticed the door had no lock, no bar but I still felt safe. When I was done I said goodbye to my safe place and went back the way I came. I went thru the door and set my foot on the dark step, with the staircase dark. As I went back up the steps the staircase became lighter and lighter blue, and when I found myself on the first stair I was aware of myself back in the room I started in as I opened my eyes. You do feel at peace, relaxed and refreshed.

I think this sort of imagery would help you if you are into this kind of thing. Some people are afraid of this but I never was. My T said I am very easy to hypnotise. I need to practise tho and get it down to a science! Then whenever I feel nervous or upset or very alone, run over by life and feel I am very useless in the world, it would be a away to access peace. I don't know if any of this would help you, but it's worth a try if you feel comfortable with this kind of thing. Sometimes it helps so much to escape a situation even if only for a little while, to give you some strength to carry on for a little while longer, until you feel a little better to cope.

I feel your pain. Many's the time you have come to my blog to encourage me, to tell me things wouldn't always be so bad, and that the monster would go away after a while, and you were always right. I thank you for everything you have written to me in the past. The nature of the beast is that it will visit me again and again and again, as it is for all of us here. It's our turn to life you up now. Try to take care of yourself, you are unique and we need you here. Love always, L

This is the site I got the "intro" from:
http://hypnotherapy.net/selfhyp.shtml

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